Glogmas: Argu the Alchemist (Dungeon Merchant)

Crawling through the dungeon you meet a strange dwarf with stone grey skin and unnerving white eyes. He calls himself Argu the Alchemist, but knows nothing of the art. He will trade information for information. Tell him about a monster, plant or danger in the dungeon and he will tell you something equally useful that he knows. However what he is really seeking is corpses, rare plants or strange minerals, for that he will give you his wares. He smells funky.

For each unusual sample he will provide one dose of the following. If it becomes important how much he has stocked he has 2d6 of each item.

• A Wineskin of Ethanol. Well, it looks like a wineskin anyway.
• Lump of Beeswax. Enough for three candles, and much more white than normal.
• A Wineskin of Caffeine. Not coffee, not tea, straight caffeine.
• Immune Booster. As popular in the Barony, except packaged in seamless wax paper.
• A Wineskin of Oil. You can’t tell if it’s plant oil or animal fat.
• Dose of a Psychoactive or Psychedelic. In squishy little balls you're supposed to pop into your mouth.
• Dose of Quick Weakening or Knockout Poison. Do not ask how he gets it and he won’t ask why you need it. Very simple, very discrete.
• Dose of Antidote. For the poisons above specifically.

For each unique sample he will provide the following. If it becomes important how much he has stocked he has 1d6 of each item.

• A dose of Curative, or three doses of either Prophylactics or Pain Killers. Again, like they do it in the Barony except for the packaging.
• Dose of Quick or Slow Lethal Poison. Very simple, very discreet.
• Dose of Antidote. For the poisons above specifically.
• Bolt of Spider Silk. A very fine textile.
• Wineskin of Delicious Syrup, Slugslick Grease or Wedweb Glue. Function as the alchemical formula with Reagent power of one. Argu insists that he knows how thier made.
• Wineskin of Healing. Restores d6 HP when drunk.
• A combination of ten of the unusual options.

For each one of a kind sample he will provide the following. If it becomes important how much he has stocked he has 1d3 of each item.

• Wineskin of Great Petard. As the alchemical formula, with a Reagent power of five. None of these are really wineskins, but you're not sure what else to call them.
• Dose of Perfect Antidote. Give him a sample of a poison 10 minutes unobserved and he will return haggard and holding a small grain that will cure that poison when swallowed. Physically he’s only capable of doing this once every 24 hours.
• Dose of Quick Lethal Poison. I am sure we understand each other.
• Dose of Antidote. For the poison above specifically.
• A combination of ten of the unique options.

When you show Argu a one of a kind sample, his eyes will go wide and it will become clear that he would do anything to acquire it. If you reject his initial offer, make a reaction roll. On a positive result, he’ll throw in another item, on a negative result he turns to threats or violence. Speaking of which.

Argu is a Derro half-folk bloom with all that entails. “He” has stats as an 4 HD dwarf in medium armour, with a billhook and a large amount of fungal “wood” throwing darts “he” can poison at a moment’s notice. By nature Argu is not a violent (fun)guy, so if violence breaks out, this Derro prefers to make distance, poison a target and renter negotiations offering the antidote. Will use syrup, grease or glue to make a quick escape if he’s overwhelmed or a Petard if things are really desperate.


Merry Glogmas to Ember from the Creature Cavern! I don’t know how much adapting Argu would need to be fit into your setting, but I think I might use the guy sometime myself. Only difference is I'd make him a soupborn, which are in a lot of ways similar to your half-folk. Also, I think I may have done a little too much crosslinking in this post. Also I know that following the logic of the post, the wierdness of Argu's wares shouldn't be this obvious, but rpgs aren't a medium in which handle subtly well and the overuse of "wineskin" is funny.