GLOGtober 24': Nothing New Under The Sun

For my third entry of glogtober, I rolled the following prompt from Vivanter, 'Real world artwork that inspires your RPG practice.' I was struggling coming up with something gameable to share, but I think this is an intresting enough thought to share (also it's half way throught the month and I have some more entries to get throught).

I have a habit of playing characters with gimmicks. The earliest characters I remember playing in an online context were a Rogue who invested in STR and improvised combat instead of DEX, a Bard who couldn't speak and was a 'lone wolf'. The Rogue was killed becouse the GM uncharitably did not assume that I moved away from the falling blade trap I was tryint to steal, and the second was awful to play becouse he couldn't speak. Both from the same crummy game with internet randos, that I joined somewhere in the middle of and uncerimonously ghosted. I likely would not even remember those two if I didn't have this old picture of the Bard. The Rogue also had an image somewhere but I could not find it. Apparently that Bard's name was Cruster Slentread if this file name is anything to go by.

More recently, a few years back I played Elena Smirt, who's gimmick is that I extrapolated this xkcd comic into a diety.

Over the last week I have started playing a very cutsey Domestic Witch. The seed for her character was that I wanted to play with the theme of domestication described in the post and play a character on a quest to make the whole world cute and cuddly. When it was established that the campaign's starting town is going to have sheep, I decided to make her a shepard, which drew comparsion to Tiffany Aching from the GM.

And that is when* it hit me, that all this time I have been unknownly copying Sir Terry Pratchett's style of character writing for as long as I have lived. A lot of Terry Pratchett's characters are built around what I've been calling a "gimmick", which often means a joke and a subversion of expectations that rotate around some theme.

Rincewind for example has two. First is his cowardice which the text expounds on the nature of, in subversion of a more typical fantasy story where you would expect the author to meditate on the nature of bravery. Second is that despite being a wizard, Rincewind sucks at magic and the twist is that this is becouse all his spell slots are occupied by a single massive spell. I do not know if the this was satire on Vancian magic as seen in D&D or Vance directly, becouse I read these books as child without the cultural context. Either way, in contrast to a clever magician who uses wierd tricks to get themselves out of trouble, Rincewind has the most powerful magic spell in the world that does him no good, so he just runs away.

Another character is Carrot Ironfoundersson, whose central joke can be summerized as "What if the prophesized king had better things to do then retake the throne?". He's got other jokes, like how he grew up as a dwarf, and how is genuinely a very good and honest person. The complexity of this character is built by stacking the jokes and riffing on them.

Is there anything useful that can be gleamed from this? Early childhood experinces can inform your tastes for the rest of your life, and maybe I should read something new so I have a larger pool of references to subconciously draw on.

Also, thinking about Carrot reminded me of a different character from the Watch branch, Angua. Part of her character development in one of the books was a reveal that werewolves stuck between wolves and humans are effectively dogs. This plays with the concept of domestication. Coincidentally I have started to play a class which also plays around with that theme.

I am truly doomed.

*Technically the realization came when I noticed simularities between some of the characters and Carrot, but the way I'm telling it to you reads better. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on and all that.

GLOGtober 24': Low Alchemy

 For my second glogtober post this year I have 'Collaborate on a post with another person who got this result.' which I am doing with Sylvanas over at the Red Lantern. Together we worked on a set of rules for alchemy that they were already been considering, then we both made some some a set of recipies for it.

Flowers of Antimony

The work of alchemy requires the right Knowledge, to Gather the right reagents, each swelling with the right Essence, that can be Concocted with the right recipe. If you do not choose your reagents carefully, you might suffer an Unpleasent Mishap.

Knowledge

Alchemy is a specialized set of knowledge that requires time to learn. To use alchemy you need either an appropriate class feature or skill that unlocks it for you. Unless otherwise stated, a starting alchemist knows how to gather every essence but Cognition from magical creatures, plants and minerals. Novice alchemists start with the first recipe of their chosen tradition and roll a 1d6, rerolling ones for the second recipe they know. New recipes are as simple to get as any closely kept trade secret, by apprenticeship, theft or experimentation. Check with your GM on the costs and opportunities associated with each.

Gathering

An alchemist can spend 10 minutes to gather a number of reagents (1/3 B) from a magical creature equal to its HD, or one Reagent from a magical plant or mineral. Each source has an affinity for one or more alchemical essences, and the alchemist is free to choose from this list which essence each Reagent belongs to. Some especially powerful and powerful sources can provide Reagents that contain multiple essences. 

The essence of Cognition can be found in the souls of intelligent beings, but to gather it is forbidden. Alchemists are assumed not to know how to gather it by default, but can learn from secret tomes, hidden masters, or terrible experimentation.

Essence

There are seven essences, six of which have opposing pairs. Each living thing has a balance of all seven within them. The alchemist as such is only able to capture the most potent expressions of essence the world provides. Without the divine touch, any concoction made with opposing essences becomes unstable. 

• Earth: The essence of the soil, stubbornness and the roots that hold firm. Opposed by Air.
• Water: The essence of flow, tranquility, and deep dark things. Opposed by Fire.
• Air: The essence of the sky, lightness, and laughter. Opposed by Earth.
• Fire: The essence of energy, passion, creation and destruction in equal measure. Opposed by Water.
• Perdition: The essence of decay, chaos and howling in the distance. Opposed by Order.
• Order: The essence of structure, beauty and that which lasts. Opposed by Perdition.
• Cognition: The essence of thought. The taboo essence, for it’s impossible to gather without making someone lesser. Opposed by nothing.

Concocting

Over the course of 10 minutes, you may use a number of reagents [R] up to your level+1 to create a potion (1/3 B, Thrown 30’) following a recipe you know. The potency of each recipe is scaled off of the amount of reagents [R] used, and usually has requirements to be met (e.g. required essences, mundane components). Often, the addition of a particular essence or other component can modify the result further. 

Concoctions that use reagents of opposing essences are considered Unstable, and roll on the Unpleasant Mishap table when used or disturbed by excess temperature shifts or motion. Rare reagents and a downtime action may allow you to create new recipes with Referee approval.

Unpleasant Mishaps

Roll 2d6 upon using the concoction or if it is suddenly disturbed.

2. Concoction does absolutely nothing.

3. Effective [R]/2 and any negative effects are inverted into positive ones.

4. Effective [R] - 2

5. Effect applies, but on a considerable delay

6. Effective [R] - 1

7. Normal Effect

8. Effective [R] + 1

9. Effect applies, much earlier than expected.

10. Effective [R] + 2

11. Effective [R]*2 and any positive effects are inverted into negative ones.

12. Concoction transforms into an ooze with [R] HD.

Scribing

Some words are spelt correctly only when the proper ink is used. To scribe a spell you need an ink concocted with potency 2, modified as follows.

• -1 for each of the ink’s essences that match the spell’s essences.
• +1 for each of the ink’s essences that do not match the spell’s essence.
• +2 if the spell is notably rare or powerful.

Additionally, inks with essences opposing a spell can not be used to scribe that spell, unless that spell contains opposing essences.

Crafting

Instead of quickly brewed into a consumables, reagents can be used in the construction of permanent items with downtime, but that is beyond the scope of this post.

Low Alchemy

When people think of alchemy they usually do not think of their local herbalists and poultice makers. They think of those men in high towers who burn noxious sludge for the king, or charlatans trying to cheat their way into that former man’s shoes. Not all practitioners seek the Magnum Opus, not everyone is rich and safe enough to wait for their perfect solutions. Someone needs to be fed today, someone needs to be healed before they bleed out, someone needs to die immediately. Less successful practitioners live as simple apothecaries or rarely dust off their grandmother’s book of recipes. More successful practitioners are pushed to the fringe, practicing their craft in secret or hiding out in the woods. Yet they still see plenty of business, however sinister their reputation is, because however glorious the transmutations promised for tomorrow, we need the change today.

Recipes

1. Hearty Stew 

Requirements: [R] quantity of rations, and a bubbling cauldron. 

Cook the ingredients you have into a stew allowing you stretch your rations further with the additional kick from the reagents. For each reagent and ration put in you get enough to feed two people. You also get the following bonuses during the rest where you eat the stew.

• Earth: Hard earth can not disturb your sleep.
• Water: Reroll a healing die of your choice.
• Air: Recover an additional Fatigue.
• Fire: Cold or rain can not ruin your rest.

2. Melancholic Potion 

Requirements: Earth, another Earth for 3+ [R]. 

A brew to bolster the cold and dry humor of black bile in the target. If ingested by a target suffering charm, panic or stress heals [R]d6 HP or grants an additional save with a +[R] bonus, whichever one would be most beneficial. 

Otherwise it brings out the melancholic temperament in the target, making them calm and distracted for the next [R] hours. During this time, they must save to act on extreme emotions but get +[R] against fear.

3. Phlegmatic Potion 

Requirements: Water, another Water for 3+ [R]. 

A brew to bolster the cold and wet humor of phlegm in the target. If ingested by a target suffering from burns, acid or poison heals [R]d6 HP or grants an additional save with a +[R] bonus, whichever one would be most beneficial. 

Otherwise it brings out the phlegmatic temperament in the target, making them lethargic and introspective for the next [R] hours. During this time, they have to save to not fall into a deep sleep when comfortable or bored but recover +[R] HP when resting. If you include poppy seed and have 3+ [R], the sleep is indefinite.

4. Sanguine Potion 

Requirements: Air, another Air for 3+ [R]. 

A brew to bolster the hot and wet humor of blood in the target. If ingested by a target suffering blunt, piercing or stabbing damage it heals [R]d6 HP or grants an additional save with a +[R] bonus, whichever one would be most beneficial. 

Otherwise it brings out the sanguine temperament in the target, making them enthusiastic and talkative for the next [R] hours. During this time they need to make a save to not get charmed by anyone they speak with but get +[R] on reaction rolls. If you include cardamom and have 3+ [R], the target is permanently charmed by the first person they see.

5. Choleric Potion 

Requirements: Fire, another Fire for 3+ [R]. 

A brew to bolster the hot and dry humor of yellow bile in the target. If ingested by a target suffering from slowness, petrification or nausea heals [R]d6 HP or grants an additional save with a +[R] bonus, whichever one would be most beneficial. 

Otherwise it brings out the choleric temperament in the target, making them irritable and alert for the next [R] hours. During this time they need to pass a save not to act impulsively when provoked but get +[R] on initiative rolls.

6. Delicious Syrup 

Requirements: Air, a key reagent that needs to be appetizing to something. 

For the next [R] x 10 minutes, the target smells and tastes delicious to creatures who would happily eat the key reagent. If Perdition is included, the effect is inverted, making the target smell and taste repulsive instead.

7. Slugslick Grease

Requirements: Water, Earth for 3+[R]. 

Create [R] * 5 doses of very slippery lubricant. A single dose covers an area with a diameter of 5 feet. If drunk, negates the effects of anything you ingest for the rest of the day; food, edible poisons and potions have no effect, they pass right through you. 

If [R] is three or greater, it does not dry or wash out for a week.

8. Wedweb Glue 

Requirements: Earth, Order for 3+[R]. 

Creates 5 doses of permanent adhesive that’s effective for binding materials that match the sources of the reagents, and can be separated with a check at a -[R] penalty. A single dose covers an area with a diameter of 5 feet. 

If [R] is three or greater then Sovereign Glue is made. Able to fuse anything to anything, not breakable by anything less than alkahest. 

If Perdition is used then the same reagent the Perdition essence came from dissolves the adhesive. If one of the reagents is hooves then it works on all organic matter, not just those from creatures.

9. Concealing Ointment 

Requirements: Air, Water for 3+[R].

Brew an ointment that masks the scent of [R] individuals or an area of [R]*5 ft in radius until the end of their rest. The target can not be found by the noses of beasts for the duration, unless the creature has an unerring nose in which case they get to make a check to overcome this. 

If Air is substituted with Fire the ointment hides the warmth of your soul instead, protecting from the dead and demonic thing instead of beasts. 

If Air is substituted with Cognition the ointment affects the mind not the senses, making the target seem unimportant background information to outside observers, this doesn’t work on the mindless or the enlightened.

10. Flying Ointment 

Requirements: Water, Air for 3+[R].

The user of this ointment can rub it between their gums and under their eyes to have the boundaries between here and there melt away, allowing them to see spirits for [R] x 10 minutes. Be wary though, if you can see a spirit then they can definitely see you. The drinker gets +[R] on reactions with spirits of aligning essences and -[R] on opposing ones. 

If [R] is three or greater,  the user will project astrally for the duration, leaving their body vulnerable. 

If someone who can see spirits already, they get one MD for the duration, or [R] MD if the ointment has Fire.

11. Bear Shirt 

Requirements: Earth, at least one reagent from a beast.

While traditionally made from the skins of bears, reagents from any beast can be fashioned into a shirt, cloak or mask that grants the aspect of a beast until the user rests. Unfortunately these charms are unstable if different species went into them. 

If [R] is three or less, the alchemist chooses [R] beastly boons that the shirt grants and any number of small cosmetic changes. If a mishap changes [R] total the GM chooses which boons to add or take away.

• The natural weapons of a beast. Claw, fang, horn.
• The special sense of a beast. Night vision, keen scent,echolocation.
• The skin of the beast. Granting armor or elemental resistances it had.
• Transforming a pair of limbs to that of a beast. Arms to wings, feet to hooves or padded paws.
• Gaining a new limb. Tail, tentacle, singular new wing.
• A characteristic flaw or drawback of a beast.

If [R] is greater than three, the GM chooses which of the possible beasts the target transforms into including a chimera at their discretion. A beast’s form constrains the user’s mind, making them unable to perform complex plans while still recognising who their allies are, this drawback is nullified if Cognition is included. 

12. Subtle Poison 

Requirements: Anything can poison if there is enough of it, minimum [R] of 2.

Brew odorless and tasteless poison that makes the victim save or die during their next rest. Casual inspection from a layman will not reveal the poison, but those wise in alchemy, medicine, or murder can make a check to detect it. The poison can also be diluted into [R] * 5 doses of a medicine matching the essences used, such as a contraceptive, anesthesia or laxative. The poison will also have additional effects based on what essences that went into it.

• Earth: The victim’s joints lock in place and their heart stops. If they pass the save then they are merely paralyzed for [R] rounds.
• Water: The victim has their strength drained from sweat, vomit or diarrhea. If they pass their save, they take [R] fatigue instead.
• Air: The victim does not suffer. Unless Fire is also used in which case they only appear to not suffer.
• Fire: The victim contorts in agony as they die. If they pass their save, they only suffer [R]d3 damage.
• Perdition: It’s fast acting, the target makes their save immediately.
• Order: This poison is controlled. Treat failed saves as passed saves that also knock the target unconscious, and passed saves do nothing.

Common Reagents

1. Sage: When harvested during a strong gale, this herb becomes infused with Air essence.
2. Belladonna: Deadly nightshade when harvested under the new moon can grant either Water or Perdition.
3. Fairy Ring Mushrooms: It is known that boundaries hold power. The mushrooms that grow around the edge to the land of faire soak up that power and grow plump and toxic. Collect them for Earth and Perdition essence.
4. Mandragora: This highly potent root is prized in both alchemy and sorcery, the difficulty generally lies not in finding it but in harvesting it safely. When pulled out of the ground it gives out an ear piercing scream that is sure to kill any man. If you know how to do it safely, then they can be a reliable source of Fire essence.
5. Corpse Fat: It’s a grisly thing when a man gets hanged. A ghoulish spectacle meant to dissuade malefactors and right wrongs. Regardless, if you're on good terms with the executioner and not too squamish it can be a rare legal source of Cognition essence.
6. Sacred Spring Water: In the Grey-Black Forests the Judges maintain watch over the holy springs. If you respect their laws then they will grant you their waters. Those sweet and bitter waters have the essences of Water and Order.

Notes

This system is mostly Sylvanas's child, as far as the rules are concerned. As far as the 12 recipies I wrote I'd like to aknowledge Phlox's simple poison rules as a guide for the subtle poison rules, even if I as the freak I am I made these rules more complicated then they need to be, and goblin punch's Alchemy and Oozes from which Slimeslick, Wedweb, Delisious Syrup and Concealing Ointment are all furthlessly stolen fron.

GLOGtober 24': The Caterwaul

 It's another glogtober folks, so let's start things off by getting in spirit for the season with challenge 1: Some Spooky Halloween Monsters.

Caterwaul

Cats stare at into empty spaces becouse they see spirits, everyone knows that. Just as cats lick them selves to keep clean, the staring at empty spaces also serves hyigene. It keeps the spirit they are staring down from trying to enter them. Cats are naturally more vulnerable to possession like human psychics, but unlike them the habits for keeping parasites out come to them instinctively so cats much more rarely possessed. However no defence is perfect, and on a cool autumn night, something slimey and slick might crawl into your old cat's skin, coil itself in knots around the instestines until it's impossible to tell where the thing ends and cat begins. In it's pain it will wail something horrible, the unmistakable shrill cry of a Caterwaul¹.

When a Caterwaul is born, a a high pitched howling caterwaul is heard by everyone in a half a mile radius. Usually prompting people to round up thier children, sick and elderly (wise), escape (unhelpful), start killing the closest avaliable cats (unfruitful) or hunt down the thing down (best left to the professionals). Hunters must be called forth as quickly as possible, before it can start sucking out breath out of the weak and vulnerable. 

Each day in which no one knows where the Caterwaul is, roll a d8. If the d8 is equal or lower to the Caterwaul's current stage, then it's manage to suck the breath out of someone, increasing it's stage by one and completely healing it. Even if a Caterwaul kills multiple people during the same day, it will only take the breath from one of them at a time, and sometimes forget to even do that. It takes some time to process someone's breath you see. If the afflicted community has an organized and calm response to the threat, increase the die size to d10, if everything falls to chaos decrease it to a d6.

1. Stats as cat. These little bastard start out as slightly more clever cat. It will only target those who are defenceless and alone. Toddlers, senile elders and passed out drunks.
2. Stats as cat. Having stolen one breath, the Caterwaul can use it's victim's voice and the intellegence of a small child to trick others. It can give an awful hiss that sends the feeling of pins and needles down a random limb, forcing a person to fail thier next action, but it only works on each target once.
3. Stats as goblin. The little bastard grows in size to around that of a child, and start targeting those who are able bodies but foolish. They will put new grubby little hands to all sorts of mischief. Pit traps, buckets placed above doors and the exploration of weaponry. Thier mimicry of the voices they stole starts to have a notably cat-like twang.
4. Stats as goblin. Bothered by the inconvience of thier size, the Caterwaul figures out how to compress into the size of a rat. The voices from all the breathes it stole will merge into one unique voice, that can no longer force failed actions with a hiss. It becomes able to flatten itself onto a wall, to smoothly glide across the surface or pretend to be a drawing. Some of it's traps become impossible and nonsencial, like making your knives drunk or causing doors to scream.
5. Stats as imp. It can freely change it's size anywhere from a rat to an adult man, fly when nobody is looking and turn invisible except for it's mouth. The Caterwaul grows, attacking anyone caught alone. Not going straight for the kill anymore, but toying with them, the way that cats do.
6. Stats as imp. The Caterwaul gains the power to shapeshift into any creature within it's size range. It however can not change the color of it's eyes, fur or skin and any wounds or scars will remain on it. It's as smart as any man.
7. Stats as tiger. Increasing it's largest size to match. It is now so bold as to target small groups, slowely wittling them down for sport.
8. Stats as tiger. At this stage it completely loses intrest in breath, and moves a meat based diet normal for a feline this size. The Caterwaul gains the power to extend it's neck, limbs and tail to ridiculously long sizes, allowing it to make melee attacks at a range of 30' and slightly skulking on long spindly legs at a pace of 4x normal speed. Which it will probably use to run away and find some where secluded to have a nice little cat nap.

Footnotes

1. The name Caterwaul was suggested by Sylvanas on the GLOG discord refering to this post. Once I've seen this post I can't help but agree that these creatures should find thier way into the Halloween canon and will be trying to convince my friends and family that this is a thing.

Additional thanks to the good people of the GLOG server who suggested wierd powers for these bastards. I tried to incorporate as much of what you said into this thing as possible.

Technically the prompt is for Spooky Halloween Monsters, but I think this counts becouse there are multiple distinct forms in this guy.

EDIT: When I first published this, this guy rolled every dungeon turn, now I've changed it to be every day after some discussion on the GLOG server. There is a lot that can be scaled here to be honest. I also tweaked a few of the stages after the fact.

GLOGtober 23': Failed Gods and thier consequences

My first entry for this year's GLOGtober is slightly late, I was a bit stuck on this first entry. Now could I have set the first entry aside and first done a different one that was easier, yes yes I could have. For the first entry I rolled a 1, but couldn't think of something that spoke to me, so I rolled again, either as a replacement or something to combine with the first prompt, and got another 1. Damn what a coincidence, so I rolled my d6 again and can you guess what result I rolled that third time?

Challenge 1: Failed Gods and their consequences.

The Heavens do not weep, they bleed. A thousand years ago a being known as the Three Legged Spider attempted to breach the vault of the sky, to take the Throne of Heaven for itself. It successfully cut open the firmament, but itself was greviously wounded. The Heavens ooze thier ichor to this day, slowly cleaning out the wound. The poisoned divinity still drips down to earth, giving birth to monsters like Nothic and Ettercaps.

The Three Legged Spider, is a failed conqueror and a failed god. It lies curled up somewhere deep, deep beneath the earth. If you could find a shrine to it, and if it has any power left in it, these spells might be granted.

• RAZOR LOGIC: select up to [dice] parts of the enemy's stats to temporarily cut out of existence. They no longer interact with that system for [sum] rounds. For example, razoring HP would mean the enemy no longer takes damage or deals damage. If you razored CHA, they can no longer make related checks or hold retainers. At 4 [dice] this effect is permenant.
• BLACK HAND: For [sum] rounds, one of your arms turns invisible. You get an illusory arm on the same side that you can control freely. Small objects, like a dagger, held in this arm become invisible. The arm can interact with ghosts, pass through walls, etc.
• SPITE:  Whenever the target creature would roll a critical success, it becomes a critical failure instead. Target will also feel anxious and irritable for the spell's duration. Duration: 1 [dice]: [sum] rounds, 2 [dice]: [sum] days, 3 [dice]: [sum] weeks, 4 [dice] [sum] months.

Gods are are destributed things, they are more patterns then entities. So what destinguishes a god from the background noise of existance? What seperates one god from another? The answer is the god's dream, each god is/has a dream of world.The Three Legged Spider's dream is a world of descrete objects where each thing is one thing and one thing only. Many gods blur together with thier sisters and have no issue with that for thier dreams are close, but to the Three Legged Spider it is a mark of failure.

We know that the Three Legged Spider lost it's limbs after it cut a hole in the sky, but how exactly that came about is a mystery.

Some say that the five Heavenly Dogs ambushed it and tore off a limb each, at which point it fell into the sea.

Some say that the five Heavenly Dogs each grabbed one of it's limbs, and to escape the Three Legged Spider, severed it's legs itself.

Some say that the four Heavenly Dogs cornered it, and decreed that to answer for it's crimes they will take it's limbs. The Three Legged Spider promised that it will never look upon the sky, if the Dogs swore to each take precisely 'a leg and fourth of that'. The hounds agreed believing that this would leave the arachnid limbless, not realizing that they promised to take an additional fourth of a leg, not a fourth of it's legs. They seethed as the smug bastard crawled into the underworld.

Some say that upon seeing the Heavens open the Three Legged Spider felt guilt for the pain it had caused. So in penance it sewed the wound shut, penitantly using five of it's legs as splints to keep the sky from collapsing.

Some say that it was betrayed. By far the most popular story. It's lietenant, it's closest friend, maybe even it's lover backstabbed the Three Legged Spider and stepped into the wound instead of them.

Five stories, precisely the amount of legs the Three Legged Spider doesn't have. 

They are all wrong.

More Strangers

 Inspired by this post, I decided to make my own post in this style from character ideas I had lying around. Also shout out to Cat Dragon for providing feedback and editing help with this post!

1.Elena Smirt

Most gnomes smell of petrichor and ozone, Elena smells of ozone and charcoal. A doomsayer and heretic, following her own syncretised form of Annitism and Humorism called “Gnomsitism”. Has a habit of ranting like a lunatic. Pissed someone off with her rancid demeanor; who’s she on the run from?

Stats. As a Cultist from The Monster Overhaul (p.19), except her Blight doesn’t recharge if she hasn’t ranted about doom to someone, and are all powered by the element of ASH (fading fire, apocalypse, genesis). By her gnomish nature she can take 1d4 nonlethal damage to create a jolt of electricity, and as a properly raised gnome has the Tinker skill and speaks Gnomish (the language of gnomes, inventors and weather). Knows the Leap of Faith delta (from the Annitism post) and will initiate anyone willing to join her cult.

Who’s she running from? (1d4)

1. Zinlas Smirt, her conservative grandmother and high priestess of Gnome Ann Isle. Elena’s stolen a 10’ Idol of Gnome Ann which grants 1 MD to magics that defy or reinforce impossibility once a day. Pursued by gnomes on lightning skiffs.

2. The Driftwood Papacy, it was inevitable. Elena’s stolen a sacred canister of Hyper-Vomit, which can induce divine hallucinations and megalomania from just a single drop. Pursued by Wind Crusaders and Driftwood Liturgists.

3. The Flints, a notorious pirate crew, feared for its two gay dads and horde of adopted children. She “stole” their boat cat, Bubsy ‘Fatfuck’; in actuality Fatfuck stumbled onto the wrong boat during a night of heavy drinking. Pursued by the Berg Flint, Elena is convinced they are going to gut her like a fish, which is untrue. They just want their cat back.

4. Corniva Smirt, her ex-wife. They divorced in mutual agreement; it was either Elena or the Spiders and Corniva chose the latter. What was not mutually agreed on is that Elena stole the child they crafted together, Horlo Smirt with stats like Robot Servant  (MO: p.301) except he is a fully sentient child, who is impacted by mind-altering effects and is torn between the moral codes of both his mothers. They are pursued by clockwork creatures and plush doll men.

2. Jack Ashtray! The Hurricane!!! The Man with a Suitcase!!! The Greatest Liar in the World!!!!!

A cocky and ostentatious wizard wearing an obviously fake mustache and a candy cigarette in his mouth. Has a seemingly unending supply of paper glasses, prank toys, cheap magic tricks and cards on him. Cracks jokes in the face of terror. Wheels around a suitcase that makes your stomach churn. What’s this guy’s angle?

Stats. 1 HD, has Fast Talk, Raconteur and Rover as a Rake, and the Slight of Hand skill. Knows 1d6 ‘spells’ from this list, which are all utterly fake. Inside the suitcase is a curled up mummy. One of the first liches, horrendously powerful, deeply cursed, imobile. It hates existence but loathes itself too much to die.

This Wretch believes that it’s under a very powerful binding spell, so subtle that it can not even perceive it. Due to the constant terror of being next to such a malignant power, Ashtray is immune to all other fear.

Seriously, what is this guy’s angle?(1d4)

1. I got some real power on my hands, some bonafide sorcery right here. Ancient wizard or not, this thing is a mark if I ever saw one. I could make a lot of money!

2. This old sack of bones thinks I’m a wizard, and you know what? Who’s to say I’m not? Fake it till you make it, baby!

3. My hair is falling out, I can’t sleep due to the nightmares, but I can’t just throw it away. It has promised to make me regret ever being born. I need to get rid of it!

4. Better men have tried to kill it, and better men have failed. But the world could do with less scoundrels like me, and it could certainly do without this horror. While I still have the upper hand, I will destroy it!

3. Crabcules

Not his real name, just the moniker he’s going by on dry land. Believes crabs to be biologically superior beings, but not actively bigoted against any land folk only because he hasn’t ‘figured out the hierarchy’ up here.  A nobleman and martial artist belonging to an empire from beneath the waves, has come to the surface world because to find a worthy opponant.
Stats. As a Giant Crab (MO: p.271) but otherwise as a Knight (p.21). He’s very easy to goad into any kind of contest, and if defeated either fairly or spectacularly swears unwavering loyalty. This is the only way to recruit him. When underwater his shell provides armor as plate and shield because he knows how to breathe good.

Aquatic Martial Arts.(1d4)

1. Practices the Secret Art EXCELLENCE IS UNATTAINABLE as an Artist. Seeks a master who can teach him how to do The Self Remade when one’s musculature is constrained by a thick shell.

2. Learns styles like a Duelist would. The style he already knows is by convergent evolution similar to the Cynical style of Cynocephali, from which he knows a stance equivalent to Aggro and a technique analgous to Humerus. Seeks a master who can teach him the Panache one needs to subdue foes without crushing them into paste.

3. Follows Ways as a Monk would. Has 1 Ki and knows the Ways Roar of the Raging Gale and Grasp of the Broken Mountain. None of these landfolk take his kung-fu seriously, so he seeks a master who can teach him Honor.

4. Has studied an ancient and venerable style, based on the beast known as the ‘Mantis Shrimp’ among land folk. With a turn of meditation can prepare himself to snap his claws so fast that it sends out a shockwave. Underwater this does damage as a cannonball, on land like a wet rubber band. Confident he can figure out how to make it work up here by himself.

4. Flesh Fairies

These fluttering, cat-sized sisters were all born in the same ‘litter’ of a Fleshive, designed to be healers. They have a telepathic bond with each other, and a more distant one with the hive that spawned them.

• Pich: Cherub-faced and sanguine. Talkative and curious, wants to be friends with everyone and has telepathy-inducing saliva. The human interpreter with a good bedside manner.
• Vert: One-eyed and choleric. Small-dog energy, wants to protect her family from all conceivable threats, and has numbing saliva. The anesthesiologist and lookout.
• Holi: Toad-faced and phlegmatic. Lethargic but precise, wants to study novel organisms and has flesh-sculpting saliva. The surgeon and secret keeper.
• Mori: Large-mouthed and melancholic. Agoraphobic, wants to take a nap and has antibacterial saliva. The pathologist and nest builder.

Stats. As Skeeters (MO: p.212), but they act as one and only get one attack that inflicts a chosen saliva on a failed CON save. They have 7 morale together and 2 morale when alone. Outside of combat, they can serve as excellent physicians and maids if you're not squeamish. 

If they like you enough they will offer to brew you healing potions. To make one they need diverse organic materials and a day of downtime. They are selective about who they give their potions to, because in addition to the usual effects the imbiber must save against gaining a random mutation. After saving, roll a d8. If the result of the d8 is equal or lower than the amount of mutations obtained from these potions, the imbiber becomes a child of the Fleshive with all that entails.

What the fuck is a Fleshive? (1d4)

1. An ever-bubbling pot of the soupborn, these sisters were born in a tribe with a very advanced understanding of the brewing arts. The girls are on an adventure to see the world, and ask for souvenirs and stories in return for their services. Pich is charming enough to rope her sisters into escapades, and can somehow fit in any social setting.

2. A floating colonial organism, basically a giant sky-bound siphonophore. The girls got separated during a storm and ask for help finding their way back in exchange for their services. Vert took responsibility for this mission. She can predict the weather and hates sky-whales in particular.

3. A creation of a flesh cult, a living breathing temple. The girls are out on missionary work, and ask for conversions or donations in exchange for their services. The sisters look to Holi for guidance, for she is a well read religious scholar.

4. Once a dragon now something like a tree, with roots that dig deep into the veins of the earth. The girls are on a diplomatic mission, and will exchange their services for someone who will put a good word in with the local authorities. Mori can burrow as fast as she flies, so she’s the envoys’ pathfinder on top of making sure her sisters brush their teeth regularly.

Discussion:

There is a sensible amount of hyperlinking that can be put into a post, i think I have gone to far.

Elena is an old PC from the August Synod mini-campaign from a while back. She is an utter mess, it was wonderful remembering her.

Ashtray was a character from an abandoned web comic project about a road trip across America in the SCP-verse. This project was going to have 6 main characters. 4 humans each with ties to one of the GOIs, the Wretch and a sentient minivan. Jack was planned to be a Gamer Against Weed, who used to be a part of AWCY?, until he got away. So his deal is sort of like Journey to the West if Xuanzang followed dril instead of the Buddha and Sun Wu Kong had zero redeeming qualities. The project stalled and eventually my intrest into the SCP-verse died. When I heard of Mob Psycho 100, I instantly fell in love with Arataka Reigen, but was also upset that someone wrote the premise of 'fake wizard pretending to be a real wizard' so much better then then I though of it.

Crabcules is a character from a failed shonen webcomic project. He is composed of three 'jokes'. Joke number 1 is a combination of the carcinzation meme with the stock shonen badguy motivation of being obsessed with strength and considering themselves the ultimate being. Joke number 2 is the visual gag that while everyone else is drawn in a cartoony style, Crabcules is rendered as a photorealistic crab. He would still do absurd anime nonsence like flash-steps and what have you, but as a visually utterly un-anthropomorphic crab. Joke number 3 is based on this tumblr post:

Where a weak non-combatant main character says to Crabcules "Yeah you could kill me, but that's not hard. I bet your so weak that you can't build a house." To which Crabcules responds by running off to learn carpentry, and progressively the non-combatant character tricks Crabcules into learning cooking, poetry, non-lethal combat and ballet. This eventually leads Crabcules to gain enlightment which allows him to do that that Jojo scene with the frog, and of course learn the power of friendship.

The illustation for the flesh fairies is uncolored becouse coloring is hard, and thier illustration is already the most difficult one to do. Thier origin will remain undisclosed to the public, if you manage to guess it correctly, you will earn my eternal terror.

Exquisite CΔrpse: Forest Law

 Sorry this post is a little late, I got distracted by things. Shout out to Xenophon of Athens, RandomWizard, semi-IDIOT, deus ex shit, Purplethulu, TheFirstGokun, Spwack, Sundered, Squig, theisticGilthoniel, Filth Pig and Phlox for participating. I have added a lot of connective tissue between these templates to tie them together, but left each delta itself unedited.

Δelta: Forest Law

Despite the best efforts of the Church, various heresies, secret societies and mystery cults hide within the cracks of society like weeds. Not all of them need to be rooted out however, many have been absorbed into the Church, or brought to heel or made allies. One such practice is the elven traditions of the Grey-Black Forests, which itself is built upon knots of compromises between it's people, it's trees and the Stag Lords. Thier traditions are strange, on one hand they hold to the virtues of impartial justice and purity, on the other thier lands have a hunting seasons not only for deer but human and elf. When a tiger eats someone in the Grey-Black you do not hunt it down, you bring the beast to court before a Forest Judge. Some Judges are rooted to a single community, others wander. Despite being heretical  it's considered good fortune to meet one, for they are known to carry with them waters of healing and wisdom.

To gain templates from a  rank of Forest Law you must have at least one template from the previous rank. Don't try to cheat this, the Forest can tell. As with many deltas, this list is not exhaustive.

0. Neophyte

To pronounce judgements, one must first prove they are capable of mercy. The conservitive judges may look down upon your initiation if you are neither an elf nor a local, but they can not stop you by the Law.

The Calling: (Xenophon of Athens)

• Happen upon an injured or ailing wild animal. Treat their condition, and ensure they are healed. You can sense the locations of animals both wild and domestic. 
• With a gentle mental pull, you can call them to you, and they will come in peace and friendship. You cannot speak with them, but you can exchange emotions non-verbally. If you cause harm to an animal you've called or located, you lose this ability.

1. Acolyte

To pronounce judgement in the Forest, you must understand it. To understand the Forest, you must understand it's waters. Clean and unclean, ill or hale, pure and vile. At this rank you are expected to follow the instruction of your seniors.

The Curing: (RandomWizard)

• Call to a wild animal stricken with illness, and have them drink clean water from your open hands.
• With an hour of searching in a wilderness area, you can find medicinal herbs that can cure (or at least slow) any disease. Children and animals in need of such treatment can instinctively sense that you can help them, and will come to you of their own accord.

The Cleansing: (Gorinich)

• Call to a lost person with stricken with guilt and forgive them for what they have done. 
• With good clean water and a little quiet you can wash away curses and profane powers. If you can't completely get rid of it, you can at least suppress it.

Take Me Up, Cast Me Away: (deus ex shit)

• Confront someone in a place they thought was safe. Make them blind and deaf and dumb with a sharp blade. If they didn't deserve this, find another and start again. When they die, find another and start again.
• When you look into someone's eyes, you can tell if they have seen evil and not confronted it, heard evil and not objected to it, or spoken of evil without condemning it. You learn when and where this happened but not what, specifically, they failed to do. If you remove the offending eye, ear or tongue you may immediately graft it onto someone else to replace a damaged or missing part.

2. Judge

To pronounce judgements, you must have the power to inforce them. There are a number of ways to prove your commitment before the Forest. You are now equal to your seniors, outranked by the Stag Lords, who are outranked by the King of Deer.

Unto The Silent Waters: (semi-IDIOT)

• Take someone whose sins could not be forgiven by their victim or by two impartial judges of good standing who've heard their testimony. Drown them in the dead of night. Make sure their body is never found. 
• In dark or murky water you can summon the revenant of the one you drowned to drag down another. If this is judged unjust by higher powers, then you will disappear into the next body of water you touch.

Hands of Glory: (Purplecthulhu)

• Take the left hand of a thief and the right hand of a murderer, preserve them from rot, and wear them on your person. If you lose the hands, or use the abilities to steal or unjustly kill, you lose these benefits.
• So long as you have the left hand, mundane locks click open open at your touch, and lights held by you are only visible by those you wish to see it. So long as you have the right hand, you can preternaturally sense illness, injury, and blood.

Blessed Child of Nature: (Spwack)

• Go out into the wild with nothing at all. Return, well-fed, well-dressed, and well-storied. 
• If you fought tough-and-nail to accomplish this challenge, then you can arm yourself appropriately, growing your teeth and nails with a thought and shrinking them as you like. If you relied on the benevolence of nature, then you can whistle back to songbirds and have them follow you about, sup with the King of Deer whenever you like, and be politely hunted by tigers.

Dryad's burden: (theisticGilthoniel)

• offer to swap places with a dryad and have your offer accepted 
• You now count as a forest creature, a spirit, a tree, and a woman for the purposes of ritual and law. Also there is a particular tree where, if it dies, you die. Burning it down is not generally enough, but a surprising amount of the dryads who swap with mortals were already dying of root rot or something. You can't exit the watershed that the tree is in, lest you die, but you do know that border at all times. Lose this template if you swap back.

3. High Judge

Techically no such rank exists in the Law, but those who rise high are considered first amoung equals. Be careful not to outshine the Stag Lords, who still outrank you in principle.

Clean Hands: (TheFirstGokun)

• Wear neither foot coverings nor gloves. Do not touch that which is unclean with your bare hands or feet. Eat only from the hands of a devoted attendant, or with long, easily tarnished silverware. If you become dirty or arrogant, you lose these benefits.
• So long as they are clean, your hands do the work of ten men and women. So long as your feet are clean, you walk, run, and jump with the strength of ten men and women.

Stag’s Salute: (Squig)

• Bow to a reigning stag of a forest, and be bowed to in turn.
• When you treat with rulers, be they human or otherwise, you will always be politely greeted. Peasants and smallfolk will typically identify you as nobility. If a crime is committed against you in a forest of a stag who has saluted you, you will be guaranteed a fair trial in their court.

Greedy Arborist: (Filth Pig)

• Plant a tree in a location you have never seen nor been to
• Any tree you have planted and the grounds within ten feet of said tree count as part of “your” forest for the purpose of travel, ritual and law.

4. Pariah

Also not a recgonised rank of the judical hiearchy, but the Forest has Laws older then the Antlered King.

Buck Spirit: (Sundered) 

• Kill the King of Deer. 
• All wild animals hate and fear you on sight. In addition, when you drink an animal's blood, you gain its most notable features until you drink another animal's blood, or you can turn into that animal for an hour, after which you lose the benefits of the blood you've drank.

5. Anathema

This is a rank is codifed in the Law. Judgement has been pronounced upon you and the verdict is death.

Grown to Purpose: (Phlox)

• Water five of your trees with the blood of an enemy.
• Wooden arms and armor crafted from your trees are as effective as +1 steel. When you craft such an item, you can give it a NAME with at least five meaningful words. If you are doing an action that fulfills that NAME, you can temporarily increase the bonus to +5, after which the item shatters forever.

Discusssion:

I may have been a few weeks late with posting this one, but with Exquisite CΔrpse 3 in the works I suddently felt the pressure to finally put up the post for Exquisite CΔrpse 2. Please do not tell me exactly how late I am.

I'm happy I was able to bring this all together into something coherent. Compared to the first one there was a lot less space for things to converge becouse there was only one round, and so it remained a bit all over the place. However I think I managed to bring it all together, the trick for making deltas make sense is specificity. Making Forest Law represent the religious/judical tradition of a specific region really helped bring it together. There are some gaps in abilites you would expect a 'judge' archtype to have, such as understanding of legal codes, however you can qualify for being a Judge by fighting for it tooth and nail to get Blessed Child of Nature, so I think Forest Law is a bit different from city law.

I think despite all the inconsistant quirks of the process a throughline does present itself. To become a judge you must first show that you want to help, then you can serve justice as restoritively or retributively as you feel is correct, but if you want greater power you must break taboos and it may or may not even be worth it.

Another note, according to the doctrine of anti-canon the Stag Lords can be anything from talking deer, to beastmen, to elves who wear antler crowns, but I must insist that the King of Deer is always a huge magical talking deer.