Snarvels

The only reason this exists is because I thought "Suddenness" sounds like a funny name for an attribute. Following that, "Spikiness" and "Snarf-ability" also sound amusing. From that I extrapolated to the only logical conclusion for a game system. Be warned, this text has not been written with something so trivial as play-ability in mind. Rather, it is meant to amuse you for like a couple seconds or so.

Snarvels

So the stats rolled 1d20 across ares:

Suddenness(SudS): Roll under to do things suddenly. Roll over to not get shot when a police officer and/or highwaymen says “now don’t make any sudden movements”.

Spikiness(SpkS): The amount of damage done on full body contact with you. Reckless touchings cause half SpkS damage. Gentle touching causes like 1 or somethings.

Snarf-abilitys(SnfS): Roll under SnfS to end up in people’s mouths, stomachs or lungs. If you don’t want to be inside in someone’s mouth for some weird reason, roll overs.

Sarcasms(SarS): Roll under or people take what you say literally. There is no not rolling this.

SarS also serves the vital function prohibiting snarvels of low sarcasms rating from being too sarcastics. Sthus allowing potential players to argue about whether or not their characters are too sarcastic, instead of playing this.

Such when a snarvels takes damage, the damage goes to the snarvels favorite stat, for God hates.

So each sentence spoken in character must start with an s and end with an s. Sis the most important rules. Sif you don't follow this rule, then any enjoyment you gain from this game is badwrongfun, therefor not deposit-able in any fun banks.

Secretly the goal of all Snarvels is world dominations. Since ever, everyone who interacted with Snarvels, knows.

Snarvels do not get singular tenses. Sthey don’t deserve it’s.

Snarvels despise the letter S.