GLOG/Witch-tober Day 5: AAAAAAHH

 Opps, I got off track almost immediately, that's alright I'll solve this issue with some microclasses! I'm realizing that the witch prompts I'm working off are based off the beliefs of actual people, so I'll try to have tasteful fantasy depictions of these practices. 

2:Pumpkin Witch

Starts with a pumpkin patch, a gardening shed full of tools and a huge quantity of candy.

A: Pumpkins fed by your blood count as your children and get +1MD for magics of plants growing, fires burning and Harvest.

B: You can see through the eyes of the jack-o-lanterns you've carved.+1MD

C: By placing the soul of a lost child into a pumpkin and carefully tending to it from October 1st to Hallow's Eve, you can grow a Halloween Dog* as a familiar at first level. +1MD

D: You understand the cycle of life and death, and that your magic is that of a Psychopomp. You can use this knowledge to cheat your way out of death or to become a Reaper** after death. +1MD.

*This a microclass I wrote a while ago, it fits the aesthetic.

Halloween Dog

start with a black coat and yellow eyes 

A) Your a doggo with all that entails, but your also spooky. When unobserved, you can act like a cat, rat or bat. 

B) Track scared people like a bloodhound. When you howl or yap real good, lightning strikes in the distance. 

C) You are a creature of the Hallowed Day. When unobserved, you can act like a skeleton, ghost or spider. D) You can now to join Hell or the Wild Hunt. Become a Hellhound to track sinners like a bloodhound and have the body temperature of a industrial furnace or a Dandy Dog which allows you to run across the sky and shoot lightning (treat as javelins).

**I make no promises about defining what a Reaper is.

3:Crystal Witch

Starts with a pouch of 1d6 different crystals, and a tome on crystals.

A: You know the ritual uses of various crystals and gems for manipulating spiritual energies. When you set out to do a work with crystals (such as cleansing a person or amplifying good energies in an area), you need to roll equal or lower then the amount of distinct crystals you have to see if you have the right one on you. Roll a 1d6 if the effect is subtle and maybe not even existent, 1d10 if it would cause an obvious spiritual disturbance, 1d20 if it's something that even normal humans would feel. The GM can say how much time and effort the ritual is going to take based on how powerful the effect is.

B:You attract a kobold familiar(as in an mine spirit not the dragon servant. Stats as a goblin, but invisible and able to swim through earth.). The kobold interacts with the spirit world and crystals. They will help find and retrieve crystals as long as you feed them and look after their health.

C: You figure out how to store magical energies within a crystal. If you spend 1.5 the time needed to normally produce the workings, you can store the energies inside a crystal, to go off at a thought.

D: You can Talk To Crystals.

4:Crow Witch

Starts with a dark cloak and the trust of a murder of 3d6 crows.

A: You can telepathically speak with the crows your allied with. They trust you to communicate relay information between the murder, your like a psychic radio operator. +1 MD for spells of color and sound.

B: Black is what you get when you combine all the colors together. Your visual illusions cast on crows have a permanent duration, 1d6 of the crows have a talent for mimicry and can teach it to the others if given a couple months. +1MD.

C: You can transform into a crow at will, but you need to make a Cha save back into a human. +1MD.

D: If you and your murder fly together in as spiral formation to form a PRISMATIC VORTEX. Everyone within it's radius will have wild synesthesia and the it's radius expands by 1 mile each hour you can maintain it. (each hour roll for a constitution check to keep flying and 1d6-3 to see how many crows drop out of the spiral. When over half of the crows are out, the cortex is ceases. You don't have to stay in the vortex for it to continue.)

5:Modern Witch

starts with a smart phone two random spells and 50 alt accounts on various websites.

A: You have a sense for the vibes of social media posts. You can perform a vibe check to claim it. If the vibe hasn't already been claimed then the vibe is yours. If it has been claimed then you and the vibe-holder make contested cha saves, loser takes 2d6 psychic damage and the winner gets the vibe. Vibes can be used as consumable MD for spells that target those who interacted with the original post and can be traded with other witches and powers strange.

B: You can spend a vibe to enforce the Map onto the Territory. Either make someone unable to perceive surprises by only allowing them to see what they expect or restraining their behavior to only things what their internet persona would do.

C: You automatically claim any vibes produced by your posts or by posts that reference your posts or posts you've made. 

D: By spending any amount of vibes and an evening you can create a Simulacra that will follow your every command. Simulacra are spirits that completely lack physical presence but have an online one, and consume a vibe a day. When they get 2 vibes, they gain a level in Modern Witch, same at the thresholds of 4,8 and 16. When they get 32 vibes, they achieve free will.

Notes:

I'd like to apologize to all the witches I drew for rendering them so poorly and to Crystal and Crow especially in particular for not drawing them in a conceptually interesting way. This is what I get for poor time management.

In my mind a good witch class has two things. Magic powers that "ramp" over time from the witch doing something weird and familiars. Pumpkin Witches grow pumpkin patches, Crystal Witches collect crystals and Modern Witches collect vibes. Crow Witch can technically collect crows or have their murder grow with the birth of new crows but it does go hard on the "familiar" angle. I also think the recreated the "what does everyone else do when the hacker character plays the hacking minigame" with the Modern Witch. I like the concept but I don't think it can stand on it's own without a dedicated social media subsystem. Plus I think the vibe counting turned out too fiddly.

Cultures of the Soupborn.

Famed-in-small-circles idea haver, David J Proskopetz had an idea about what if fantasy races had unique reproductive cycles. Most of that post isn't relevant to what I'm about to write, so I'll quote the part that really grabbed my attention.

"Goblins were created by alchemy as servants for an evil wizard, but immediately stole their own formula and rebelled. New goblins are brewed in big brass cauldrons full of exotic reagents; each village keeps a single cauldron in a central location, and emerging goblings are raised by the whole community, with no concept of parentage or lineage. Sometimes they like to add stuff to the goblin soup just to see what happens – there are a lot of weird goblins."

Now here's the thing that I love about this, is that there are a whole lot of ways you can take this. Goblins can have cultural distinctions based on how they treat the stews they are born from. They can have differing rules or lack of rules for what is allowed into the stew. Different names for their cauldrons, whether they have cauldrons or just pits in the ground, the possibilities are endless! I'm going to restrict myself to four cultures in this post thought.

But first some additions to the general idea.
First is the backstory, and how it's utterly inconsistent. While some claim a wizard made the goblins, others say that they rose from the blood of a god or that all life came from soup and everyone has strayed from the natural order of things.

Second is that one trait that goblins usually have is that they can smell and taste if there's something wrong with their stew. A bit like how how some people can smell if there's a cold on you.

Third, is that goblins are for the most part asexual, aromatic and genderless. That's not to say they lack love, they are social animals just like humans, but without as much focus on specific individuals. Where humans art and poetry is obsessed with the idea of the soul mate, goblins believe that finding the right squad will bring them everlasting happiness. This is a very general trend, but individual goblins are as varied as humans.

Lastly, is that the size of a soupborn is based on how long they have floated in the pot. At first a tiny little goblet is formed, than an additional layer coating after coating of goblin gets added. Most goblins are the size of short human because that's big enought to move not get crushed by absolutely everything but small enought so they don't have to eat that much. If you cut open a goblin, their flesh is ringed like a tree, this becomes more obvious the larger a goblin gets, which is why it's well known that ogres have layers.

Brewer Tribes

Hobs and gobs, sniggs and snogs, ogre, wogre, troll. They usually leave everyone alone in their swamps and caves, but sometimes the buggers will steal livestock or attempt to sell either infernal contraptions or get-rich-quick schemes. The one thing that they respect is booze. If you bring them a bottle they will treat you as a friend, if you can brew than they will treat you with reverence.

From the outsider's perspective a goblin village is a complete mess, while that is true there is system to it. The center of a village is the pit or if they are well off, the cauldron that acts as a central hearth and heart of the village. They are born from the cauldron and in death they are thrown back to the cauldron to reincarnate once more. Around the the cauldron is a ramshackle structure where goblins, congregate, eat and sleep. The air is moist and warm, the smell is potent and sticks to your skin, home sweet home. Around the main hut at variable distances are workshops,  tool sheds and storehouses for all the things that disturb the soup or would be disturbed by the soup, most importantly the breweries.

Witches hold a special position in this culture, as wise persons and keepers of power. Witches are defined as anyone who can brew booze, and their power and wisdom is ranked by the quality of their spirits. You can split mountains and make dragons bow with your magic, but if you can't make a good ale than your kind of a phoney in the eyes of a goblin. A number of tribes have been converted to not-christianity by monks who know how to make beer. Closest thing to a king or chief in a goblin tribe is a Spoon Master, who has a few important duties, first to stir the soup for optimal thickness without killing any developing goblets, second to fish out the goblets once thier ready and finally to veto bad additions to the stew, traditionally with a smack of the spoon. Another important tradition is that Witches get more sway in the bickering over the soup.

GLOG Racial Features:
Perk:
Mutation: Roll for a mutation on a nicer mutation table.
Drawback:
Mutation: Roll for a mutation on a meaner mutation table.

Or roll on the Scrambled Race Table.

Armies of Darkness

The troops of the dark lord. Orcs and ogres, gretchlings and hobgoblins. Wretched things with clawed hands that pillage and plunder. They break and crunch all things beautiful and spit out mush. They only live by pain and hate. Their unfortunately easy to produce as well once you secure a cauldron. Many a petty warlord and maniacal wizard use them as canon fodder in their armies. It's growing increasingly common that wars aren't fought by noble knights but goblins pitted against each other in terrible brawls.

A goblin born in a war cauldron is a pitiful thing indeed. They don't have any access to it for one thing. human or other monster keeps a tight control over it, which leaves the goblin alienated and effectively orphaned. This also makes a goblin born ill for cruel lords don't fuss about a brew as a goblin can and will. Cruel lords demand obedience from goblins and punishes the slightest error. Thus a goblin learns deceit and duplicity. Cruel lords tell goblins that they are made for a purpose and must serve it, and the poor goblin tries. Needless to say, goblins make for horrible soldiers and while armies of darkness always cause a lot of history to happen they really bring victory.

It's frightfully easy to get an army of darkness to turn against it's master. A single spark of hope or a little bit of truth is enought. There are several tricky bits thought, they generally react poorly to overt good and nice things, if it looks to good to be true they will suspect a trap. There's also the issue what do they do once their free.


GLOG Racial Features:
Perk:
Grunt: You can effortlessly feign loyalty, appear to be busy and lie with a straight face. Most people will underestimate your intelligence by default.
Drawback:
Mutation: Gain a random mutation, from a mutation table that has a fair few nasty results.

Or roll on the Scrambled Race Table until you get something kinda pitiful.

Wild Things of the Arboreal Forest

Orc, woodwose, beastman, trolls. These fanged and shaggy creatures carve eyes on their spears to always strike true and teeth on their shields to break the opponent's blade. They pay homage to the master of the Boar's Wood, an old and brooding god. They are renowned for always seeking out the biggest toughest thing to fight. An average one can wrestle a bear into submission and their champions are rumored to have suplexed giants. They are often found in mercenary companys but always side against the strongest side and don't accept coin for their service. They only throw great beasts and mighty heroes into their pots, to ensure that the next generation grows up stronger, smarter and deadlier. Orcs are known to even raise powerful monsters for the purposes of the pot.

While the culture of the beastmen is focused on the idea of glory in combat and always taking on the baddest guy in the room, they still have a sense of self-preservation and personal interest. If an orc band hears about the death of a dragon they are just as likely to challenge it's slayer as it is to murder them in the dead of night and taking credit for the feat. While they do have a reputation for not taking pay, they work under the assumption that they will be given gifts generally of live-stock and weapons. Most will decline any gifts given to them but will become upset if you don't insist on giving them what they want. The greatest honor a woodwose could receive is to be thrown into the pot, supposedly for deadliness in battle but it often ends up that the most popular and well liked wose get in there. For many wose this actually a relief because one has to be thrown in during the prime of their life. Outsiders are offered this honor more often than beastmen actually. In some cities, the idea of a "wild son" is recognized for when a beastman displays traits of a hero given to the pot. The recognition ranges anywhere from being equivalent to normal offspring to being bastards to being the originating family's property. The city of Vrast has gone as far as to make beastmen to be it's warrior caste.

GLOG Racial Features:
Perk:
Beast's Mutation: Roll three times on a mutation table, pick the one best suited for hunting and/or fighting.
Drawback:
Appetite: Need to eat twice as many rations.

Or roll on the Scrambled Race Table, until you get something sufficiently beastly.

The Folk under the Mountain

Dwarf, dvarger, gnome. If you ask a dwarf how it was born, they will scoff and say that they are forged from living metal. Like goblins that don't have parents in the human sense. There are the Deep Smiths that made them, but they don't raise gnomes. They stand distant and revered, working in their secret foundrys attended by masked spirits who barely speak in whispers. A dwarf is raised by their mentors who teaches them both the culture and craft of their people, just as their mentor did for them. Lineage is tracked through the bones, which are made of durable metal, rather than the perishable living metal. The souls of ancestors past are always with a dwarf, and are said to aid them in their time of need.

You may ask as to why Dwarves are mentioned along side others born of the soup if they are forged? Well, it is a half-truth that dwarves are made of metal. Their skeletons are honestly forged, but "living metal" is not different from normal goblin flesh, it just grows around a titanium skeleton. The sacred smithies of the Deep Smiths look more like alchemical labs, where they spend day and night making sure that the soup has the right heat, the right amount of salt and the correct viscosity to produce ideal dwarves. The ones who turn out wrong either get killed or raised to be masked spirits that bare the gnomish secrets. In some holds they act as servants to the Deep Smiths, in others the Deep Smiths are more like go-betweens between the masked ones and the rest of dwarven society.

Such a secret would be to large to keep, deep down most dwarves are vaguely aware that something doesn't quite line up. They however ignore and rationalize away the inconsistencies just like humans do about their deeper secrets. Don't compare a dwarf to a goblin unless you want an ax to the face.

GLOG Racial Features:
Perk:
Fixate Bones: Your joints can be locked in place. You stand still for hours or hold a a hand position for hours without any movement or muscle cramps. Does take a moment to lock and unlock thought.
Drawback:
Heavy: You cannot swim, you sink like a stone.

If you want to play a Masked Spirit, you get the normal dwarven features, a mutation and a mask riveted to your face.

Post Script:
Does this count as part of the dwarf challenge? I do describe dwarves here, and I have participated in recent dwarf discourse, but this post is mostly about goblins.

Snarvels

The only reason this exists is because I thought "Suddenness" sounds like a funny name for an attribute. Following that, "Spikiness" and "Snarf-ability" also sound amusing. From that I extrapolated to the only logical conclusion for a game system. Be warned, this text has not been written with something so trivial as play-ability in mind. Rather, it is meant to amuse you for like a couple seconds or so.

Snarvels

So the stats rolled 1d20 across ares:

Suddenness(SudS): Roll under to do things suddenly. Roll over to not get shot when a police officer and/or highwaymen says “now don’t make any sudden movements”.

Spikiness(SpkS): The amount of damage done on full body contact with you. Reckless touchings cause half SpkS damage. Gentle touching causes like 1 or somethings.

Snarf-abilitys(SnfS): Roll under SnfS to end up in people’s mouths, stomachs or lungs. If you don’t want to be inside in someone’s mouth for some weird reason, roll overs.

Sarcasms(SarS): Roll under or people take what you say literally. There is no not rolling this.

SarS also serves the vital function prohibiting snarvels of low sarcasms rating from being too sarcastics. Sthus allowing potential players to argue about whether or not their characters are too sarcastic, instead of playing this.

Such when a snarvels takes damage, the damage goes to the snarvels favorite stat, for God hates.

So each sentence spoken in character must start with an s and end with an s. Sis the most important rules. Sif you don't follow this rule, then any enjoyment you gain from this game is badwrongfun, therefor not deposit-able in any fun banks.

Secretly the goal of all Snarvels is world dominations. Since ever, everyone who interacted with Snarvels, knows.

Snarvels do not get singular tenses. Sthey don’t deserve it’s.

Snarvels despise the letter S.